There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
