Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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