doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
