I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
