I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
