What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
