I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This baby is an asshole
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
