Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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