bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
They have beer where we have blood.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
