you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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