i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
