My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize