Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
