areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
