On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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