Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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