we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
