whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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