we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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