That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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