Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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