Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
