She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
