hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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