somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
