Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
