can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So vagazzling was a success
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
