So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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