I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
