I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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