what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
