The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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