Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
