I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize