But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize