remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
