that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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