You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
