So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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