haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize