My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
