she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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