she was so not down for the gang bang
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You are a genius and a whore.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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