About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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