I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Buhtt sex?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
