Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
