Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
