Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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