also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
