He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
