so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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