I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
