I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
