she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize