I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My vagina just recognized that song.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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