i barfeds in our rink
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The air taste purple.
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