hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Boobs are out for the taking
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
